Not going to lie to you folks, there is nothing pleasant about this little motion picture.....
Well this scene was rather pleasant. Early 80's boobs aren't the same as 70's boobs but once in a while they do the trick. What were we talking about again? Oh right "Cannibal Holocaust"!
The film opens with a faux television documentary discussing the disappearance of four documentary filmmakers.
The filmmakers in question were filming a documentary in the amazon rainforest about feuding Cannibalistic tribes. The area these tribes inhabit has been given the name "The green Inferno".Hoping to retrace their steps in the hopes of finding them, Anthropologist Dr. Harold Munroe(porn legend Robert Kerman) travels to the Green Inferno.
*DISCLAIMER* That's right folks a porn actor playing an anthropologist. How can this movie be bad?! *END DISCLAIMER*
Leading Dr. Munroe through the green inferno is Cacho. Cacho acts as the Virgil to Dr. Munroe's Dante *DISCLAIMER* If you haven't read "Dante's Inferno" think of it this way. Cacho acts as the Tommy Lee Jones to Dr. Munroe's Will smith. If you haven't seen Men In Black.....you're fucked! *END DISCLAIMER* If I was going into a place called the Green Inferno I would want a badass mofo like Cacho as my guide!
Cacho (Guy in green) and Dr. Munroe struggle to find shelter during a hurricane, surrounded by folks looking for the right Barbeque sauce to cook them with. Dr. Munroe nervously talks into his tape recorder while Cacho cooly rolls a fatty and takes a couple of mondo drags out of it. What a guy!
On their trek through the inferno, the dup encounter several atrocities commited by the nearby cannibal tribes. About 20 minutes into this film there is a scene. In my honest to Lucifer opinion it is the nastiest and most fucked up scene in cinematic history. I don't have the stomach to describe it
Not even going to describe whats about to happen in this scene. Lets just say Cannibals of very strict views on the sanctity of marriage and have no tolerance for adultery. Hello Irony! In the cannibal world it is okay to eat in with your neighbor's wife but eating out is COMPLETELY out of the question! *DISCLAIMER* Once again I apologize to all family members who had to read a sexual innuendo in your Brother's, Cousin's,Nephew's ,Son's blog *END DISCLAIMER* I scrambled to turn the film off after witnessing this scene. There I sat alone in my basement on a sunny July day *DISCLAIMER* Don't judge me! *END DISCLAIMER* sitting on my arm chair shakingly sipping from of a can of beer. Staring into the blank television screen I thought to myself :"Self...that was fucked up! Just think, its probably just going to get worse from there. Do you think you can handle this? The voice in my head said this in a real snarky tone which bothered me. I'm pretty sure it called me a wuss too (although it denies it now) So to prove that bastard wrong I downed my beer, grabbed another and finished watching the movie. I was never the same.......
Eventually Dr. Munroe and Cacho discover the filmmakers remains accoampanied by their cameras (which are loaded with footage of morally ambiguous hijinks).
Returning to New York, Dr. Munroe watches the footage which acts as the second half of the film. If you thought the first hour was bad buckle your seat belts boys and girls you've seen nothing yet! Not only are we treated to the savage acts of the cannibal tribes but also the savage acts of the filmmakers.
These wily rascals do everything from burning down an entire village to teaching a young native girl the meaning of "ménage a trois"or in this poor girl's case "ménage a quatre" . All on footage mind you. Too morally ambiguous folk everywhere ...DON'T LEAVE A RECORD! *DISCLAIMER* The 13th floor does not associate with morally ambiguous people and does not in any way condone morally ambiguous acts. *END DISCLAIMER* .
This film is a complete shotgun blast to the senses and everything you consider decent and moral. I can't in good conscience say I recommend this movie to everyone. I only recommend this flick to those who wish to be disturbed like they've never been disturbed before. This movie haunts my dreams to this day! Nastiness and 80's camp aside the film does have artistic merit. It is an excellent and effective commentary on sensationalism in the media. As humans we are mysteriously drawn to grim and disturbing events and in a voyeuristic sense become cannibals ourselves. The film then turns the camera on the viewer. You'll be disturbed by the film's shocking brutality but will be even more disturbed when you realize you watched the entire thing...and liked it!
The film does contain a hauntingly beautiful score by the maestro Riz Ortolani (one of my favorite horror film soundtracks).The film does contain some great cinematography. Why I have a particular soft spot for this anything but soft film is it started the "found footage" horror subgenre I love so dearly. The footage recorded by the actors looks authentic and if you were to randomly land on a channel playing the film you would be convinced you're watching an authentic documentary.
The gore effects in the film are also extremely realistic.
I've never seen someone impaled before but I have a hunch it looks a lot like this....ouch! In fact, the violence was so realistic the director Ruggero Deodato was arrested after its released. He was accused of actually murdering his cast and had to reproduce the effects in court! Just tell that to the next knucklehead who brags about how realistic the blood in guts in the "Saw" series is.
Well folks this concludes part one. I'll give you all some time to collect yourselves and maybe call a therapist or two. The next blog post will be entitled "How Cannibal Holocaust Can Save your Life!" Hope you're as excited as I am!
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