First and foremost I wish to apologize for my absence, for a brief little bit your three-eyed master thought he had lost his 13th floor mojo. Fear not for I have returned and I plan on staying on this goddamned floor til Lucifer himself comes to claim me muhahahahaha! *ADVISORY WARNING* This post contains 13th floor Jack Assery and Tom Foolery like you've never witnessed before *END ADVISORY WARNING* Firstly I wan to fullfill my duties as your guru in the gruesome to recommend you a devilishly clever little horror flick entitled "Delivery:The Beast Within".
I'm just going to come out and say it, this flick left me with a pitchfork shaped hard on for days after watching it! Rarely do I watch a contemporary horror flick and love every single minute of it!
The film tells the tale of happily married Kyle and Rachael Massey who are expecting their first child. They agree to have the pregnancy documented on a reality television series entitled "Delivery". At first all goes honky dory but then, shit ensues. Demonic shit, the worst kind! For me this film was a revelation it is both a found footage horror film and an honest to lucifer, devil baby flick and ladies and gents, I loves me my devil baby flicks! I can say with great certainty that this flick is possibly the best devil baby film since Rosemary's Baby! True story. What this film succeeds in doing is forming a bond with you and the main characters so when the demonic shit mentioned above hits the fan it is that much more terrifying.
What I dislike about the recent batch of found footage flicks coming out is the use of CGI which rarely works well in the genre *DISCLAIMER* Except in Troll Hunter. They did everything right in that movie right. *END DISCLAIMER* This film uses an effective itsy bitsy bit of it, and instead relies on spooky camera tricks that will chill your spine for a lifetime! It is also rare to find a found found footage flick that has a decent ending. They're usually awkwardly over the top but this little gem's conclusion left me in a catatonic state of shock and electric shock to the nads couldn't bring me out of. True story! *DISCLAIMER* Only slightly *END DISCLAIMR* . I really wish I could say I recommend this flick to everyone, but if you're expecting parents steer clear of this film.
Not only did I feel sorry for Kyle and Rachael, but my heart kind of goes out to the demon Alaster who has claimed there baby for his earthly vessel. Its gotta be rough being a demon really. Sure you get to do all this badass stuff like be invisible , cause hellish chaos and work for Satan (best boss ever!), but is that really enough? Maybe all they really want to do is just feel solid ground under their feet and feel the wind blowing through their hair. Is that really so bad? Can we really blame them for wanting just a taste of what we take for granted every day? Just a little food for thought wanderers. See you all very soon!
